Frequently Asked Questions
about Intensives

How do I sign up for an intensive?

We’ll begin with a free 30-minute video consultation.  Use the contact form to start the process.

 

 

How do I set up an appointment for the free consultation?

Use the intensive contact form.  I will call you or reply by email so we can choose a date and time. 

 

 

How soon can we do the intensive? 

We can schedule the intensive as early as one month after we have the consultation, agree that the intensive is appropriate for you, and you sign the policy and make your deposit—depending on availability of dates.

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What happens at the intensive?  Is it time for us to talk with a moderator?

An intensive is EFT couple therapy (Emotionally Focused Therapy), so it is more structured than just casual talking between partners.  You are welcome to have informal conversation time with your partner over meals or in the evenings.  As an EFT therapist, I am not a judge or moderator, deciding who's right and who's wrong.  Instead, I help you understand what has gone wrong that makes your relationship so difficult.  I also help you experience more connecting conversations with your partner.

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Do we meet in person? 

We meet by video for the free consult.  The intensive itself is in-person only.  My office is in Roseville, Minnesota.

 

 

What if I want to meet online?

Sorry.  While we may do weekly advance or follow-up sessions of EFT by video if you live in Minnesota, for the intensive itself our best work is done in person.  So the intensive is in-person only.

 

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What's included? 

The cost of the intensive covers professional costs of our work together, including renting office space for us to meet.  Water, coffee, and tea are available.  You are responsible for travel costs to the intensive, lodging, meals, snacks, and any resources you choose to use, such as the book, Hold Me Tight.

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Do you have weekend dates?

Yes, currently intensives are typically offered on Friday-Saturday-Sunday, OR Saturday-Sunday-Monday, OR Thursday-Friday-Saturday.

 

 

What if I only want a 1-day or 2-day intensive?

Currently, I offer only 3-day intensives.  I think they give us the best option for significant progress, without being overly taxing emotionally.  Other providers may have shorter options available. 

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Will we need more therapy after the intensive?

Yes.  Most EFT therapists who offer intensives recommend follow-up work.  The intensive gives a great start to addressing the negative patterns that are causing pain in your relationship.  You will likely feel hope for your relationship by the end of the intensive, and you will need support to develop new habits and deepen your bond. 

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Do we do the follow-up work with you?

It depends on various factors.  If you live in Minnesota, you find the intensive helpful, and I have openings at times that work for you, I would be glad to continue our work together, either in person or by video.  Feel free to ask me about your particular situation. 

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What if we do not live in Minnesota?  Can we still do an intensive with you?

Yes, provided you come to Minnesota for the intensive.  We can do the consultation by video.  Then meet in person for the intensive.

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How will we do follow-up if we do not live in Minnesota?

We will plan ahead to make sure you have good options to work with another EFT therapist.  I will provide you with a list of potential EFT providers in your area (or elsewhere in the world if that is better suited to your situation).  Often, I will check with them to make sure they have availability to see you soon after your intensive, so you'll have a "warm handoff."​

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What is EFT couple therapy like?

At our first session, we'll talk about your concerns and goals.  I'll ask what it is like when you are not getting along and how the two of you reconnect after a fight.  I'll explain the model I use, Emotionally Focused Therapy, which has a map to guide our work.  After our first meeting, I'll meet with each partner separately for one session to get to know you better and to learn about previous important relationships, including your family growing up.  Then we'll continue with couple sessions. 

 

The first stage of EFT work helps you shift away from the negative patterns.  This will be our focus during the intensive.  Once you feel more confident in your ability to stop fights (or distancing) and to reconnect, then we deepen your relationship.  The last stage of EFT addresses any remaining concerns and makes sure you have a plan for continuing to thrive when you are no longer in couple therapy.

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Do you have a wait list for intensives?

I may have openings.  If I do not have current openings but think that I may in the next three months, I will add your name to a wait list. 

 

 

Do you work with therapists and their partners?

I have considerable experience doing EFT with therapists and partners.  I enjoy doing so.  My partner and I have been  clients for couple therapy, including doing an intensive, so I have some idea of what it may be like for you.

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Do you do premarital counseling during an intensive?

I do premarital counseling, but not in an intensive format.  Check the couple therapy page of the website for more information.

 

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What if we’re not sure we’ll stay together?  Can we do an intensive to decide?

I do intensives for couples who know they want work on their relationship with a goal of staying together.  If you are not sure, "Discernment Counseling" could help you decide, and then we could consider an intensive once you have more confidence in your intention to strengthen your partnership.  Learn more about Discernment Counseling here.

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What if there's been an affair?  Can an intensive help us?

Learning about an affair is extremely dysregulating for both partners.  Most EFT therapists who do intensives recommend waiting several months after discovery (or disclosure) of an affair before attempting an intensive because both partners are then better able to feel their emotions without getting overwhelmed or shut down.  Contact me or see resources here for help with recovery from betrayal.

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I'm concerned about substance use?  Is an intensive like an intervention?

No.  The purpose of the intensive is to improve your relationship.  It is not to persuade someone to get help for drinking or drug use.  If one or both of you are using alcohol or drugs in ways that impact your relationship negatively, an intensive may not be appropriate.  We could talk about that at the free 30-minute consultation.  If a partner acknowledges their substance use and is making changes or getting needed help, an intensive may be possible.  

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What if there is abuse?  

If there is current or recent physical abuse or danger, couple therapy—including an EFT intensive—is not appropriate.  If there is a history of emotional or physical abuse, there needs to be current safety and a plan to maintain safety.  Then, if both partners want to work on their relationship, we can consider whether an intensive might be appropriate.

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What does the intensive cost?

The investment for the intensive is $3600.  After the free consultation, if we agree that the intensive is appropriate, we'll select dates and I'll send you a policy form to sign and have you enter your credit card number in the client portal.  You'll pay half the cost, $1800 as a non-refundable deposit, and the remaining cost, spread over the three days, $600 each day.

 

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Do you offer any discounts or scholarships?  What about financial hardship?

There are no discounts or scholarships for the intensive itself.  There are discounts available and a few potential spots for sliding scale fee for the regular 55-minute sessions of follow-up work.

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Do you take insurance for an intensive?

No.  Due to the format of an intensive, insurance companies are not likely to reimburse you for multiple hours of therapy on a single day.

 

I am out-of-network for all insurance companies.  You will pay me the full cost for the intensive and any follow-up sessions, and you will handle any/all interaction with your insurance.

 

If you have out-of-network benefits with your insurance company, I can provide you a “superbill” that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement.  Contact me for additional information, including questions you might ask your insurance company to learn about such benefits.

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What payment do you accept?

Payment is due following the schedule noted above. 

 

Clients will have a credit card on file in your client portal that I will charge.  If you prefer, you may enter an HSA or flexible spending account debit card for that purpose.  If you would like to pay by Zelle (transfer from your bank account to my business bank account), that may also be possible and must be done before the session, following the schedule above.

 

 

Can I get a statement?

Yes.  An invoice is created for your deposit and for each session, and it will be marked paid when you have paid.  For follow-up sessions, you may also request automatic monthly statements and/or superbills, or send me a note when you would like me to create one for you.

 

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Do you offer workshops or classes—if we're not sure we want an intensive?

A colleague and I have been offering Hold Me Tight® workshops for couples several times a year since 2016. 

We have one offering of the workshop each year (usually January or February) reserved for therapists and their partners.

Other classes are planned throughout the year.  Contact me to stay informed, or check back to this page on the website.

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How is an intensive different from the Hold Me Tight workshop?

An intensive is EFT couple therapy—just for you and your partner.  The Hold Me Tight® workshop for couples is an educational program designed for a group of 5-11 couples.

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What if I have other questions?

Feel free to send them through the contact form or bring them up during our 30-minute free video consultation.